I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
