I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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