i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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