dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
