Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
