Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My penis needs a shock collar
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
