I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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