You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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