the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
