NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
