Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
