So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
