I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I AM VODKA MAN
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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