So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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