Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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