Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
