Your tits are I can't wait for
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
