But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
