hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
