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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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