shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
as a side note pls kill me
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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