Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think i peed on brittanys purse
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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