Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
