she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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