talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
