If that was your dad, he is hot
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
