thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like a drive thru vagina
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
