I like to think it a success when the cops are called
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
