How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
