I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
