Screwed.edu
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
