what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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