He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
