Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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