moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We need to get me chipped asap
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
