i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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