i think my tv is drunk
You work out of a Hotel?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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