it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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