so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
