In the future we'll all be gay
I didn't shave. On purpose
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
