I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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