the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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