its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
