Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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