Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
