Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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