Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
