Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
