Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
two words: eviction party
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
