is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My pussy is not your playground.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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