filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
