google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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