I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
